SOOO done it's not even funny

So today was another of those days that started out great. Started out being the key words there. It’s Thursday, and therefore I only have one class at 12:45 so I was able to sleep in. The sun was shining and the wind wasn’t blowing, and I woke up to birds chirping outside my window. That’s a very happy noise. And okay, I also woke up to the construction across the street, but I’ve pretty much learned to tune that out kinda like I never hear the airplanes fly over my house because I’m so used to them. Anyway, I went to class and got to pretend that I was in kindergarten. That’s always fun. And I came home and did some homework. I read an article and wrote a response to it. And I did a study guide for a test that I’ve got on Monday so I can study over the weekend. Then I started studying for my World Civ. test. This is where my day starts going downhill. I sat here for 3 hours going over that 3 page study guide before I went up to take the test and was feeling pretty confident. Then I get to the testing center and sit down. I looked over the test and wanted to start crying then and there. I only knew 3 of the short answer questions, and we have to answer 6 of the 12 options. I guessed on another, so I have answers for 4 but had no clue on the other 2 so I didn’t write anything. There’s 8 points I’m not going to get, and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get full points on the questions I did answer. Say I get 3 points on them. Well, that’s only 12 out of 24 possible points on that section of the test. Then I start on the multiple choice questions. Half of the questions on the test were things that weren’t even covered on the study guide! I was so mad!!! I hate that class anyway because the teacher, who shall remain nameless, doesn’t teach! I am the kind of student who needs very direct instruction and I don’t get it in that class. No matter how hard I study or how hard I try, I’ve failed every test this semester! Yeah, he offers extra credit, but it’s watching a movie and writing a cultural reading. I don’t get the cultural readings and how to tie them into the baseline culture like I know I’d have to do. It doesn’t say online so I guess I’ll talk to him tomorrow after class to see, but I don’t think I have time to even try to do an extra credit thing. Not with the number of trips I’ll be making home in the next 2 weeks and everything else I have to do. I’m praying that I get a C in the class so I don’t have to retake it after my mission. Not to mention if I do have to retake it I’ll have to do it online, though that would be okay because then I could probably get things figured out… but then again I’d have to motivate myself to do it and with the attitude I’ve got toward that class right now that probably wouldn’t be a good thing. Anyway… I’m really hoping that I get a high B or low A on the research paper I turned in last Friday because that is worth 2 test scores (retarded, I know) and could really help my grade. So, back to the multiple choice questions… I’m going through and trying to answer them but like I said half of the questions weren’t even covered on the study guide and half of the ones left were things that we hadn’t covered in class and I couldn’t find in the text book or online. How dumb is that? If you’re going to give a test on something at least make it something that you cover in class or can be found in the textbook or online! I walked out of the testing center and saw my score, a 46%, so I only got 12 of the 26 questions right. I walked down the stairs with tears in my eyes. I can’t take this anymore! I’ve never done so poorly on tests in my life! And it’s not like I don’t try, because I do! If we were to get the review sheet more than a week before the test it would help me so much because I could spend more time trying to find the answers and more time studying. Right now I’m trying to juggle 7 classes and 16 credits, a social life, my calling, my mission papers, and I’m trying to find a job. I don’t have enough time in just a week to cover the material that I need to know in order to do well on those tests. I can’t study my notes because very little of what we go over in class a) makes sense to me and b) is even on the flipping tests! It doesn’t help that the review sheets have between 80 and 100 questions when there are only 50 questions on the test—and like I said, there’s stuff on the test that isn’t on the review sheet. I ran into Jill on her way to the gym when I was on my way home and I told her what had just happened. By this time I was in tears. She told me that Spencer had wanted her to make a cake with him so to text him and have him come over and make a cake. Spencer is always good for a laugh so I did just that and he came over and lounged around on the couch while I made brownies and hot fudge… speaking of which I need to take care of those before I go to bed. We were talking and I told him about my test and that I’d failed it and he was like “did you really fail it or is it an exaggeration?” He’s heard me complain about the teacher before because he’s a history major so he’s had a couple classes from him and kinda knows what I’m talking about. When I told him that I’d outright failed, not just kinda failed, he was kind of surprised. He knows that I try. I tell you, there’s something wrong with the teacher. Okay, maybe not so much the teacher, but definitely his teaching style. I’m sure he’s a great person to work with, but with the attitude I’ve got towards him now I don’t want to give it a try. Anyway… before Spencer came over I went in and talked to Emily and told her what happened. I was so frustrated and trying so hard not to cry, but it wasn’t working. I told her that I just give up. I have absolutely no motivation to even try anymore. I don’t get it. I tried. I put forth a good effort and still did horrible. I am so done with that class that it isn’t even funny. I can’t do this anymore. In fact, I think I did better on the last test, and I didn’t even study! Not at all! Actually, I know that I did better on the last test because I was actually able to at least give an answer for all 6 short answer questions. It’s a good thing that I already had all of my homework, except for my art methods stuff that’s got to be done before lab tomorrow, done before I went to take that test because I’ve been so frustrated since I got home that I wouldn’t have been able to focus anyway. I’m surprised that my brownies and hot fudge actually turned out because I sure as heck haven’t been able to focus on anything tonight. I just… I don’t know. I don’t get why I can’t do well in that class. Okay, so I do. It’s because the teacher doesn’t know how to teach. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves about some of the general ed professors up here. I was filling out an application to be a substitute teacher this summer last night and they wanted to know my GPA in my major classes. I was looking at my transcript and realized that the only Education class I haven’t gotten an A in was my Math Methods class last semester. And again, I blame the teacher who didn’t teach and expected us to learn everything on our own. Taking 17 credits and trying to balance that with a calling and a social life I don’t have that much time in the day to spend trying to memorize every little detail. One thing’s for sure… I know what kind of teacher I DON’T want to be. This type of teaching style works for some people but it sure as heck doesn’t work for me.