Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I've Been Better

So I haven't exactly felt the best all week. I'm not feeling 100% healthy. I'm going to blame it on stress... but I haven't been that stressed. Well, I guess it depends on what kind of stressed. I'm not really all that stressed about school and the like. I'm basically just going along with the flow. Actually, I've been really out of it education wise this semester. I'm doing what I need to do to get by... in most of my classes. I kinda skim my World Civ. book, but I hate that class with a royal passion. My education major-ness isn't a good thing in that class because all I do for the entire class is critique the teacher... and they're not good critiques. I find all the bad things that I don't like about the way he teaches and sit there and go over in my mind what I'd do to make the class better. Believe me, there's a lot. I haven't found very many things that I do like about him as a teacher, and the fact that it's in a class that I dont' particularly enjoy it only makes it worse. I've given up on doing the reading for my Science Methods class, but hey, Brother Christman said that we don't need to do the reading to succeed so that's his fault that my book basically sits unused on my bedroom floor. How hard is it to succeed in choir? Honestly, show up and you get the grade. That's my chill-out hour. Then it's on to Exceptional Students. I really love that class! Not only is Sister Anderson an amazing teacher, she is so passionate and knowledgeable about what she teaches! We have the best class discussions every day, and I find that because of my experience at Options in high school I can really contribute some good insights during those discussions. I always get my reading and such done for that class, but I find it so interesting and not tedious at all! My Art Methods class is good, but has so much busy work! I personally find the art projects that we have to do a waste of time. The past few weeks haven't been too bad, but honestly, we're in college and have so much that we could be doing other than doing elementary school level art projects. My roommates are jealous of them, and I'd be more than willing to let them do my homework. But when I tell them so, they refuse. Whatever. I absolutely LOVE my Mission Prep class! Brother Wahlquist is amazing, and I am learning so much about the Gospel! That is the perfect way to end my day. I come out of that class feeling so uplifted. I am definitely grateful for that class and realize that it will be so beneficial to me when I go out into the mission field and am trying to teach investigators. It's not that i don't know how to teach, because I know that I can teach. That's what I love to do. It's teaching Gospel Principles that I'm not as confident at. Being Gospel Doctrine teacher this year has been so good for me because I've had that experience teaching Gospel Principles and teaching with the Spirit in my classes, so I kind of a little bit know what to expect... though Gospel Doctrine will be completely different than my mission will be. I mean, when I teach now, I have a class full of RMs and other people who have been members of the church their whole lives, or at least long enough to know what they're talking about. On my mission, the people I'll teach will have little or no experience. And I'm all but done with my Social Studies Methods class. I've got to tweak my "Museumfest" project and do like 4 chapters of reading and journals, but other than that I'm done. I just have to show up to class. I can handle that. So see, I'm not really stressed with school. Okay, midterm was last week, which probably added a bit of stress, but the major stress-out this semester was a few weeks ago when I was working on my project for Social Studies.

I think the real cause of my stress, and therefore not feeling so good, right now is the fact that I'm starting my mission papers in 6 days. Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to get everything going and go on a mission. I know that it's what I'm supposed to do. So why am I so dang nervous? Probably because I don't know what to expect. In 2 months I'll know where I'm going and when I'm leaving, but until then the course of my life for the next 2 years will be unknown. That is somewhat frustrating for me because I really like having everything planned out well in advance. Of course, if I think I'm a mess now, I don't want to see what I'll be like next Tuesday. I'm starting to have similar feelings to those I had back in November when I first felt that I need to serve a mission. I was a wreck! But I know that great blessings will come from doing what I know the Lord needs and wants me to do.

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