Saturday, February 21, 2009

I don't get it

Why is it that whenever I spend any time trying to make myself look really cute to go dancing and feel so good about myself that no one ever asks me to dance? I went Latin Dancing tonight... and it SUCKED! I was really looking forward to tonight because I missed it last week since I was in Idaho Falls, but I would have had a better time if I'd stayed home and done my history homework... and that's saying something because I really don't like my history class. I guess I'm just super fed up with anything and everything dealing with boys in my life. I mean, the last date I went on was a total flop thanks to a boy who showed up 2 hours late, couldn't dance to save his life, and left an hour early. Country dancing is horrible. Latin Dancing tonight made me want to cry. If something in my life doesn't change soon, I'm going to come home from my mission and want nothing to do with boys because they're all so stupid now! Is it so much to ask that I'm able to just go have a good time with several boys and maybe go on a couple of fun dates before I leave on my mission so I can take a good experience with me and not be dreading coming home and putting myself back into the dating scene? Yeah, I've pretty well turned myself off when it comes to liking boys because I know that I need to serve a mission and don't want to let myself get attached to someone who wants nothing to do with me... as has been the case with every boy I've liked forever. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to go out and have fun with boys! I know there are some decent boys out there. For example, I changed my status on facebook when I got home to say that I had a crappy night. 2 boys who I'm not really even all that close to popped on chat and asked me if I was okay. That meant a lot to me and kinda cheered me up. But still... why do things have to be this way? I get that I'm supposed to go on a mission. I'm going to go on a mission. I'll be starting my papers in a week, and once I set my mind to something, I don't easily back out. So why can't things change in the dating department of my life?

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