Safe Harbors

I'm the kind of person who thinks a lot, especially when I'm alone. When I'm driving somewhere, I rarely have people with me in my car so I spend a lot of time thinking. I have a 20 minute drive to and from work each day... that's lots of thinking time. When something is bothering me or weighing on my mind, I think a lot, and probably get carried away when I'm alone. But at those times when something is bothering me or something is just plain on my mind and I have somewhere to go, I have a mix of churchy songs I can pop in my CD player and listen to as I drive. I've listened to that CD a lot over the past 7 months since I had the feeling that I need to go on a mission. That was a big decision to make and there was lots of thinking to be done. There have been several songs on there that have had just the right message for me at that time, and those songs always seem to be the next one to be played on the CD.

Driving home from work last night was just one of those times. I was pretty upset by the whole issue of families not being able to go into the MTC anymore, so I got into my car to drive to work on Thursday and put in my CD, though it did nothing to help. When I got into my car last night to come home the first song that played was Safe Harbors by Michael McLean.

There are refugees among us
That are not from foreign shores,
And the battles they are waging
Are from very private wars.
And there are no correspondents
Documenting all their grief,
But these refugees among us
All are yearning for relief.

There are refugees among us.
They don't carry flags or signs.
They are standing right beside us
In the market checkout lines.
And the wars that they've been fighting
Will not be televised,
But the story of their need for love
Is written in their eyes.

This is a call to arms, to reacho out and to hold
The evacuees from the dark.
This is a call to arms, to lead anguished souls
To safe harbors of the heart.
Can you feel the pleas of the refugees
For safe harbors of the heart?

Can you see through their disgusies?
Can you hear what words won't tell?
Some are losing faith in heaven
'Cause their life's a living hell.
Is there anyone to help those
Who have nowhere else to flee?
For the only arms protecting them
Belong to you and me.

This is a call to arms, to reach out and to hold
The evacuees from the dark.
This is a call to arms, to lead anguished souls
To safe harbors of the heart.
Can you feel the pleas of the refugees
For safe harbors of the heart?

This is a call to arms, to reacho out and to hold
The evacuees from the dark.
This is a call to arms, to lead anguished souls
To safe harbors of the heart.
Can you feel the pleas of the refugees
For safe harbors of the heart?

That song was the theme for my first year of girls camp 9 years ago (has it really been that long?!) and has been one of my favorites since. But last night it took on a whole new meaning for me. For 9 years that song has meant exactly what Michael meant it to mean. That we need to reach out and help those around us, even if it's simply sharing a smile. But the closer I get to my mission, the more I think about serving. And last night it hit me that this is exactly what I'm going to be doing. I'm going to be reaching out to the refugees that are spoken of in this song and bring them into the safe harbor that is the Gospel. Because the Gospel really is a safe harbor. If we live the Gospel we can be protected from the storms of life. Not necessarily avoid them, but they will be so much easier to deal with, and what a comfort that is!

And I guess that I've accepted the fact that families can't go into the MTC anymore. It just came as somewhat of a shock, especially because that's something I have looked forward to. I'm not going to lie. I was really upset. I tried to play it off like it wasn't a big deal. But to me it was. To be completely honest, I cried on my way to work Thursday, and when it was slow and I started thinking again and I had to really try to hold back the tears. When I went to bed Thursday night I completely lost it. When I told mom about the change in policy Thursday morning she was certainly disappointed, though I don't know exactly what her thoughts were. Then she said something along the lines of "Well, we might as well just stick you on a bus and send you down." I wasn't going to go for that... though I admit that the exact same thought crossed my mind. And at least I know about it before I go. My understanding is that there were several missionaries who went in this week who had no idea about the new policy. That would have been hard. I have been able to think about this logically and realize that this is for the benefit of the missionaries who the Lord has called to go out and share the Gospel with His children around the world, and that it will now be more similar to what it is like when missionaries go to foreign MTCs and their families drop them off at the airport.

My prayers are with the missionaries right now, for their health. And for those reading this, I ask that you do as well. Two of my best friends' younger brothers are in the MTC right now, and unfortunately one of them has been diagnosed as having the Swine Flu. My prayers are especially with him. But knowing that I will be in the MTC in 3 1/2 short weeks I am also praying for my own health, that my immune system will be strengthened that I can remain healthy. I have the faith that I will be fine, and I completely trust in the Lord knowing that He will direct my life down the path He knows I need to travel, so long as I listen to the quiet whisperings of the Spirit and live the Gospel which I have been taught for my whole life.