Sunday, February 20, 2011


Wow. It really has been a month. I remember back when I was a brand new missionary in the MTC, so homesick that I couldn't hardly stand it, I felt like I'd never go home. And now I've been home for an entire month. And it has been a good month. I've enjoyed getting to know my family again, and a few of my friends. I've jumped back into work. I've gotten over my fear of technology. I've seen a few movies. And I've thought about, and missed horribly, the mission every single day.

I used to think that people were crazy when they said that they still thought about their mission every day when they'd been home for several years. But now I'm beginning to understand why. A mission is something that changes lives. The 18 months I served my Heavenly Father changed me. They made me into who I am today--the person I want to be, and I know Heavenly Father wants me to be.

I have become one of those people who think about their mission every single day. And it won't surprise me 5 years from now if I still do. I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to serve. I learned so many wonderful things. I received so many wonderful blessings. I met so many wonderful people. I had so many wonderful experiences. I've got the knowledge and the blessings. But the people, the experiences. Those are the things that I miss. There is nothing like being a missionary.

But now, I am an RM. That is definitely taking some getting used to. Life is so much better when I am busy. If I'm just sitting around I go crazy! I can't stand it! I am so used to the rigid schedule of a missionary. I miss the mission a whole lot more when I'm not busy. It's hard not having the depth of studies I had as a missionary. I still study every day. I don't leave my room before I've done my scripture study. But it's just not the same. I've seen several of my male friends, and when I do I stick out my hand for a good, hearty handshake...but they hug me. The first little bit that was REALLY hard. Now it is getting easier, but it's still weird. Hugging a guy? It was completely off-limits for 18 months of my life! I couldn't listen to "worldly" music for a few weeks. I tried, but immediately turned it off. I can't in good conscience sit down and watch TV. Not that I watched much before, but I feel weird watching TV. But I have started listening to "worldly" music. I've got the radio in my car tuned, not to the country station I always listened to before I left, but to a Spanish station. Yea! That makes me happy! And I do sit down and watch a few TV shows with my family...Wipeout, Hawaii 5-O...Yeah, I'm hooked. And I stay up late at night (obviously, from the time I'm posting this). But life is so different. Everyone tells me that it will continue to get better with time, and I'm sure it will, but for now I'm working to get used to life as an RM. (Too bad it's not as easy as taking off my coat and saying that I'm going to get used to the weather if it kills me, like I did on my way to church today despite the snow. And ya know, it really wasn't that cold!)

1 comment:

  1. You are doing so great! You are definitely braver about the weather thing than I am.