One Month

Gee. It's hard to believe that 2 months ago I was waiting for my mission call. It was 2 months ago today that my papers went in. It really doesn't seem like it's been that long. I've been thinking a lot today. Reflecting is more like it. As I look back on the past 7 months, and yes it has only been 7 months, my life has turned and is going in a completely different direction than I was planning. I still remember very clearly the weekend that I had the prompting that I need to go on a mission. It was that weekend that I completely turned my life over to my Heavenly Father and came to the realization that His hand is in my life and He knows what is best for me and will lead me where He needs me to go. My mind has turned to the hymn "I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go" a lot over the past months.

It may not be on the mountain’s height, or over the stormy sea;
It may not be at the battle’s front my Lord will have need of me;
But if by a still, small voice He calls to paths I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine,
I’ll go where You want me to go.

I’ll go where You want me to go, dear Lord,
O’er mountain, or plain, or sea;
I’ll say what You want me to say, dear Lord,
I’ll be what You want me to be.

Perhaps today there are loving words which Jesus would have me speak;
There may be now, in the paths of sin, some wand’rer whom I should seek.
O Savior, if thou wilt be my Guide, though dark and rugged the way,
My voice shall echo the message sweet,
I’ll say what You want me to say.

I’ll go where You want me to go, dear Lord,
O’er mountain, or plain, or sea;
I’ll say what You want me to say, dear Lord,
I’ll be what You want me to be.

There’s surely somewhere a lowly place in earth’s harvest fields so wide,
Where I may labor through life’s short day for Jesus, the Crucified.
So, trusting my all to thy care, and knowing thou lovest me!
I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere,
I’ll be what You want me to be.

I’ll go where You want me to go, dear Lord,
O’er mountain, or plain, or sea;
I’ll say what You want me to say, dear Lord,
I’ll be what You want me to be.

Right after I decided to go on a mission this was our opening hymn in devotional, and you can ask any one of my roommates. My "water-proof" mascara did nothing for me because I was bawling so hard. This song really speaks to my heart. And I know that I'm going where the Lord wants me to go. I don't know why, but I do believe there is a reason, and by the time I come home I will know what that reason is.

It's so crazy to think that I really am leaving. I looked at the registration schedule for school, and if I were going to be here in the fall, I would be registering tomorrow night. Registering for my last semester. That's what all of my friends are doing over the next few days. It kinda makes me sad that I won't be there with all of the girls I've had classes with for the past three years. Don't get me wrong, I am way excited about my mission. But I've made a lot of friends in my classes, and, well, I'm not going to know anyone when I come back. Oh well. A whole new adventure making new friends, right?

But back to the title of this post... I leave in one month. 30 days. That is such a short time. It has really hit me how little time I have left with my family. We had fast and testimony meeting today because our Stake Conference is next weekend, and this was the last one before I leave. Mom got up and bore her testimony and I bawled. I love my family so much. I probably haven't shown it for the past few years, but since i moved home from school i haven't really wanted to do anything with anyone besides my family. In the past I've jumped at every opportunity to go out with friends or call them on the phone. Now, I'm pretty much avoiding them. I just want to spend time with my family, make all the memories I can before I leave.

There's so much that I want to do before I leave. Stupid as this may sound, I want to go to the Zoo. I want to play in the pool. I want to help in the garden. I want to play with the puppy (but I don't think he likes me). I have a whole list of movies to watch and games to play and food to eat. But mostly I just want to do things that involve my family. This month is going to go fast. Before I know it, it will be my farewell, then my birthday, and then I'll be gone.

But from what I'm told, my mission will go way too fast. And I believe it. All of the guys I knew in high school are coming home. Heck, one of my first roommates should be home any time. I can't believe it's already been a year and a half or two years. They're already coming home? What?!? Where has the time gone? And I'm sure that 19 months from now, I'll be asking the same question.

So I'm sitting here and I'm in pain. More pain than I've been in in a long time actually. Don't ask me what I did to myself, because I don't know. All I know is that I woke up in the middle of the night trying to roll over and completely unable to because of an intense pain shooting through my back. I couldn't move. I was supposed to work an 8 hour shift today, but instead I went to the doctor and got some anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers and spent the day pretty much sitting here in this chair. And with the way things are looking I'm going to have to call in again tomorrow and lose another 8 hour shift. That just kills me. Losing out on 16 hours of pay... that's a lot of money, especially when I've only got 3 more weeks to work after this one before I leave on my mission. Oh well. Some things can't be avoided.

Wrestling with his tiger
Trying to help wash the car
I just love that face! This is after his bath, and he looks highly annoyed, doesn't he?

On to happier thoughts. Our puppy is absolutely adorable and hilarious. I've taken so many pictures of that little fur-ball! Last Wednesday night I was taking pictures of him and tripped over him while my camera was in my hand and it went flying and needless to say, I have a new camera. Mom and Dad knew I wanted one before I went on my mission, so they had one to give me for my birthday, just a few days early in time for my farewell, but I've been using it and LOVE it! I HATED my old camera with a passion. This one actually has sound with the videos, a feature I've quite been enjoying. Most of my time when I'm not working is spent outside playing with the puppy and it's been so fun! I've really missed out for the past 21 years of my life not having a dog. And now, right when we get one, I'm leaving for 18 months. How sad. Maybe that's why I'm taking so many pictures and videos now...not that I'll be able to take most of them with me anyway.

Do mine eyes decieve me?

Or is that a PUPPY in our backyard???
Yep, this sweet little fur-ball is now a member of our family... or is my family replacing me? Either way, we have a dog. The daughter of some people in our ward was selling her dog's puppies, and my dad had mentioned to them that Kesha wanted a puppy. So, when the puppies were at their house last Saturday, they called to have Kesha come over to play with them. All week the kids were bugging mom and dad about getting a puppy. When they called again yesterday to say that the puppies were there again, I tagged along and fell in love. Puppy love, that is. Reluctantly, I left for work. I didn't want to. No sir. I wanted to stay and play with the puppies. Well, when I called to say I was on my way home, Dad asked me if I'd gotten any strange text messages. I hadn't, but was almost positive that there was going to be a surprise waiting for me when I got home. I got out of my car and didn't hear any puppy-noises coming from the backyard. But when I walked in the door, I saw a dog carrier through the window and an adorable little fuzzy face peeking at me! WHAT??? My mother, who has been very strict about not getting a dog allowing a dog to live at her house? She had a MAJOR moment of weakness... not that we're complaining about it. She tells me that I'm the worse one of the kids. I was still outside cuddling the puppy (we aren't completely sure of a name for him yet) at midnight last night, and was back outside before church playing with him for a few minutes. But gee whiz... I like how I had to grow up with a dog and they get one right before I leave for a year and a half. I've never really liked dogs, until I met my friend Britney's dog last summer anyway. But JJ is a tiny little thing. He's full grown and our puppy is bigger than he is. But I like our dog. It's really funny to see/ hear the reactions of people who know my mom though. I went over to Suzanne's tonight to see if she was by chance home because I haven't seen her in months. She wasn't but I talked to her mom for a little bit. She was telling me that they got a new puppy a while back, and I was like "We got one too." She was laughing, and then abruptly stopped and her eyes got real big and she said "YOU got a dog?" It was pretty funny. I'm having quite a good time telling people about him, especially people who know my mother well.

Update and such

Well, my life has been pretty boring for the past three weeks. I get up, do a little around the house or run errands with mom, and go to work, come home and go to bed. Yep, that's my life. Pretty exciting, huh? But I am really enjoying my job. It is a lot of fun and I've made some friends, which always helps. Actually it helps a lot. I've got the hang of everything, and have actually been training a new girl the past couple of days. Work is usually the same old, same old. I generally wait tables during the dinner rush and spend the rest of my time doing dishes. Last Friday was absolutely insane! It was actually the first day we've been busy, though I'll admit, it was kinda nice. Last night was insane too! We closed at 9, but didn't get out of there until 10, and still left half of the closing list undone because we just didn't have time to do it all! Tonight was rather interesting. Around 3 the cook came to me and said that he had to leave at 7, and that he was leaving me in charge of the food. Okay, so I freaked out. To be honest, everything is already made and just has to be served. Usually I take the orders then make the salads while he dresses the plates and dishes them up then I take them out to the people. I got this down! Then when the tables leave, I clear the tables and we call it good. Well, tonight, I did it all. I poured the water. I took the orders. I answered the questions. I made the salads and served them. I dressed the plates. I dished up the food. I served the food. I checked on my tables. I cleared the dishes. I wiped the tables. I even cooked more noodles for the fettuccine. Heck, I even answered the phone a time or two. I was running 90 miles an hour, and did it all by myself. Okay, so I did get a little bit of help a time or two from one of the girls I work with, but I did most of it! Needless to say, I was glad when 9:00 rolled around so I could come home, because they had even called me in early today! It was crazy all day long.

Lets see... what else have I been up to. Not much, that's for sure. I've spent a lot of time with my family. The past few summers, I've jumped at every opportunity to go out and do things with my friends. This summer, the only time I see my friends is at church on Sunday--and only those who go to the branch. I haven't seen anyone else.

Mom and I have most of my shopping for my mission done. I've got all my clothes and my 2 pair of shoes. Finding long skirts this time of year is quite the challenge. Good thing i already had 2. Well, and I do want a dress, but missionary-appropriate dresses this time of year are extinct. At least here in IF. We're going to go look at fabric and patterns tomorrow and may make one. Or maybe we'll make a trip to Orem to visit the Sister Missionary Mall. Who knows. Now it's just a matter of getting the small things. And luggage. We're trying to find a good quality set of luggage i can take with me. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I went through the temple last Saturday. The Spirit was so strong, which made for a wonderful experience. Afterward, Mom and Dad took us out to eat at Red Robin. I got the Santa Fe burger... in honor of my mission (Santa Fe, NM is in my mission). Okay, not really. I wasn't even thinking of that until after I'd ordered and someone mentioned it. I just thought it sounded tasty, and it was.

On Sunday I was given a calling in the branch, and I am SO excited for it! I'm one of the Gospel Doctrine instructors! That's what I was all year up at school, and totally loved it! I just feel at home in front of a class. I need to finish up my lesson tomorrow, because I'm teaching on Sunday.

So yep. There's my life in a nutshell. Not extremely exciting. Well, I guess I can say that I'm hoping that I don't die. I had a cold a month ago... right before finals. I was literally sick in bed. That cold lasted for about a week then I was fine for about a week, then this cough hit. And it's only gotten worse. It's to the point that I can't even sleep at night because I'm coughing so much. And the minute I lay down it gets worse. I woke up around 4:00 this morning because I couldn't breathe because of this cough! SO annoying! Anyway, I went in to the doctor today and he said that my lungs sound fine and that I've probably got a viral bronchitis. Oh joy. I just have to let this one run its course. He did give me an inhaler and said that it may help, so we'll see on that one. For now I'm living on water and cough drops.

Oh yeah! I was able to go up to Rexburg Wednesday afternoon so I could take care of my mission deferment. Then I was able to see a bunch of my friends, which was fun. Jamie, Leeann, Britani and I went to Subway for dinner. It was pretty tasty! That night Brit and I went country dancing, and I had a blast! It was such a good night! I actually lost track of how many times I danced, which is rare for me. I way needed it. I'm hoping I'll be able to make it up there one more time before I leave on my mission, but we'll see what life brings.