Venting

No one needs to read this post. In fact, it's probably better that you don't, because it's strictly me venting, and at this time of night with this level of stress, that's never a good thing.

For starters, I am SO fed up with my class right now. I can't take it any more. I've all but given up even trying to teach. The students don't listen to me. They don't respect me. And I"m at the end of my rope trying to be patient and not blow my top at them. I only have 10 more days in the classroom. Hallelujah! It will be nice to be done. Very nice. But before those 10 days are up, I have my huge portfolio review by professors from campus who are coming down. I just finished teaching the unit I have to use to put that portfolio together yesterday. Which basically means that I have the weekend to put this huge portfolio together and make it look super professional and well thought out. And my motivation level is at ZERO right now. And my stress level, on a scale of 1-10, is at about a 20. Those two numbers are not a good sign for the amount of sleep I'm going to be getting in the next week.

Next, I give a ride to one of the other student teachers. Every morning, I text her when I'm leaving my house. It takes me 10 minutes to get to hers.  I call her when I'm rounding the corner to let her know I'm there. And I still end up waiting for a good 10 minutes EVERY morning. Today it was 20. I should have just left. And I might tomorrow if she's not ready. My BIGGEST pet peeve is being late/ having others be late. Not to mention, it's just common courtesy to be on time when someone else is going out of their way to pick you up.

Also, my engagement ring had to be resized. Which it shouldn't have had to be in the first place, because we very clearly told them what size it needed to be when we ordered it. And they clarified it back to us 2 or 3 times. But no. They gave us a 6.5, not a 6 like I needed. And, when Jeff went to pick it up on the day they told us it would be ready, it wasn't ready yet. Not having it didn't ruin his plan of proposing, but it did frustrate him. But, we took it in on Monday after school to be resized. They told us we'd have it back today. That was 3 days...should have been plenty of time to take the size down, right? No. I still don't have it. When Jeff showed up tonight, I could see that he was upset...and I instantly knew why. I don't blame him at all, and didn't get mad. I was so disappointed though. It's such a small thing, but it means so much to me. And, if it's not done tomorrow, the soonest I'll have it back is Monday. I have now been without my ring longer than I've had it. I am just so frustrated with everything I have going on now. Needless to say, they're going to be getting a VERY upset phone call from me tomorrow. And should consider themselves lucky that Jeff is the one going in to pick it up, and not me.

Best. Day. EVER!!!!

I've been expecting it...and was trying to wait patiently. But my patience was starting to run thin waiting. I thought for sure that something would happen last night. It was, after all, our 2-month anniversary of our initial contact online and our 6-week anniversary of our first date. Seriously...when he rang the doorbell last night and I wasn't quite ready I was so flippin' nervous that I couldn't even bring myself to open my door right away to go out and see him. I was more nervous than I was for our first date! But eventually I did. And as the night dragged on, I realized that he wasn't going to be doing anything. So last night I stood in front of my closet and tried to think of what I would want to wear when, and if, I got engaged this weekend up here in Idaho.

I got up bright and early this morning so I could curl my hair and look cute "just in case," though I wasn't going to let myself hope for anything to happen. I got a text from Jeff this morning asking how I'd slept. And unfortunately it wasn't as good as I would have liked. But I'd slept some. He got an "I hate you right now" text from me. And I may or may not have called him a punk on more than one occasion. I headed off to school, bracing myself for yet another long day of dealing with 6th graders.

I got to school and walked into my classroom, totally not looking forward to the day with a sub...one who I really don't like but who keeps the kids under control. I got to my classroom and walked through the door to find a special surprise at my desk. Jeff was sitting in my chair with a camera set up on a tripod on my desk. Needless to say, I was speechless. Well...not quite speechless. But shocked. VERY shocked! The first words out of my mouth were "What are you doing here?" (Um...Kira...that's a rhetorical question. Why else would your boyfriend be sitting in your desk, when you know he has your engagement ring? DUH!!)

I gave him a big hug (looking all nerdy with my backpack and lunch box hanging off of it). He told me that on January 29 (our 3rd date, and day we decided we wanted to see where things would go) he asked me a question, and asked if I remembered what it was. Apparently, the question was if I had a middle name. The answer to that question was no, I don't. And he turned my attention to the board where he had written "Miss Good, will you marry me?" I was so happy! I wanted to cry, but there were no tears to cry. Well, of course I said yes!

I was on cloud 9 all day long. And my class was incredibly well-behaved...mostly because they really wanted to hear the story of how it happened and I held it over their heads that I wouldn't tell them if they weren't perfectly behaved.

So yes. Good news of the month. Kira's engaged. July 6 is the big day. Rexburg temple is the place.

The end.

Waiting...not so patiently

It kinda stinks sometimes. And that's all I'm going to say, or I'll be giving away my big news that I don't officially have yet.

Abandoned...

For anyone who checks my blog on a regular basis...the last thing you heard from me is that I have a boyfriend. Which is still 100% true. And things are going very well. Basically all my time is spent with him. We do lots of homework dates...which gives us the best of both worlds: productivity and time together. I took him home to meet my family this past weekend. They love him. And, because it's late and I'm tired, that's all you're gonna get for now. But know that I'm alive and well :)

Updates on my life

Well, I've now been in Utah for 4 weeks. I am enjoying my student teaching. And I have a boyfriend. Wow...that's weird to say. But it sure does make me happy. Jeff is an amazing guy. I actually met him online...something I never pictured myself doing, but it is so worth it! I don't have much time to update...and y'all probably don't want to read the details anyway, but I have to share!! I'm so happy:)

How Did I Spend my Year Mark?

Well, the day started out by judging the Elementary School Science Fair. That was...interesting, to say the least. Never thought I'd be doing that on my year mark of being home.

But the part that really freaks me out...I started applying for jobs online. Real jobs. Big-girl jobs. That will also have big-girl pay checks (that's a nice thought). Yep. All of my preparations for teaching are underway. Now all I have to do is keep filling out applications, and wait.

524,600 Minutes

At this moment, exactly one year ago, I was finishing my first meal with my family in over 18 months. I was sitting in mom's new kitchen with my family, missionary nametag in place, but knowing it wouldn't be there for much longer.

Last night, it really hit me that today is my year-mark of being home. And I totally broke down in tears. I reached over and picked up that black nametag, which I always keep nearby. It's something so trivial, yet something that means so much to me, because the months that I wore that nametag were the months that most shaped me into the woman I am today. And as I sat there, holding my nametag I started to sob. My heart ached for the mission. I longed to be back with the people I grew so to love. I yearned to have a full-on conversation in Spanish. I wished that I had all of my missionary journals here with me, so I could read them, and, in a sense, go back to that time.

I turned out my light, and tears rolled down my face and onto my pillow. How I wished I had, at the very least, a teddy bear to cuddle with. But I didn't have even that. Eventually, I fell asleep, still longing for the mission.

Now, overall, it has been a good year. Of course there were ups and downs, but I do believe that there were more ups than downs. I've met many more wonderful people who I have grown to love. I've had conversations in Spanish. Honestly, I wouldn't trade the past year for anything...except to go back.

Every day, for the past 365 days, I have thought about being a missionary, and the many wonderful experiences I had as such. And for the past 365 days, I've wondered how it would feel to hit my year mark being home. Now I know. And I dread the day, in just 6 short months, when I will have been home for more days than I was a missionary. I don't even want to think about that.

And so today, on this anniversary, I want to joyfully remember all of the people who touched my life while I was a missionary. I want to remember the experiences I had. I want to remember the joy I felt on oh so many occasions. Don't get me wrong, it's been great being with my family, but, as to this point in my life, nothing compares to being a missionary.